Goldy makes an arguement about class sizes that makes about as much sense as reducing school funding…
It has been said that a child’s mind is a terrible thing to waste, but the same is true of a child’s body. I have been assured by culinary experts in several obscure internet chat rooms, that in flavor and texture, a school-age child compares quite favorably to pork, and is equally versatile and nutritious. Properly prepared, it would be virtually indistinguishable in a taco filling or sausage patty… or perhaps as a substitute ingredient in “turkey” tetrazini.
And with one third of students now qualifying for free or reduced price lunch, it only seems fair that overburdened taxpayers turn toward the student body to help offset the cost of this growing public subsidy.
Fortunately, thanks to the WASL test, a mechanism for culling the herd is already in place. For example, if only those students scoring in the bottom 10% of the WASL were harvested to supply the school lunch program, per-student funding would instantly be restored to 1993 levels.
Mr. Todd would be proud.
4 responses so far ↓
1 Gordon // May 12, 2008 at 7:43 am
Psst!… Soylent green is people! Pass it on.
2 hoody // May 12, 2008 at 12:46 pm
Except that the WASL does a piss-poor job of accurately identifying any level of performance, top or bottom.
3 Kyle // May 21, 2008 at 4:21 pm
This is really sick. As if you don’t know this already happens to children . Yeseven in this country. Next time will there be an ironic , humorous article about child rape. How can a person find any humor in horrid events , especially involving children, Does everything go on this site???
4 Jimmy // May 21, 2008 at 4:51 pm
Kyle,
I have never heard of under-performing children being ground up for school lunches to reduce class size in Washington State (Alabama maybe?). But I can assure you we here at McCranium.org will never poke fun at child rape.
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